When Conflict Becomes a Group Problem (Part Three)
“Therefore, when Paul and Barnabas had no small dissension and dispute with them, they determined that Paul and Barnabas and certain others of them should go up to Jerusalem, to the apostles and elders, about this question…Now the apostles and elders came together to consider this matter. And when there had been much dispute, Peter rose up and said to them: “Men and brethren…” Acts 15:2, 6-7a
Notice two things about how the apostles approached this major conflict:
First, when a divisive issue arises, it needs to be addressed quickly before things get worse. Postponing the confrontation seldom leads to a good outcome.
Second, facilitating an effective conflict-resolution process requires skill and the ability to model godly behaviors and helpful words. The larger the group, the more skill is required. If there is not an experienced facilitator in-house, consider bringing in one from the outside.
Setting the Foundation
Expanding on the preliminaries and their importance, here is more detail of the foundational steps for successfully working with groups in conflict:
Open with prayer and the reading of relevant Scripture to set the tone for calming hearts, and depending upon the nature of the conflict, select specifically relevant scripture passages (please reach out if you need helpful suggestions!).
Get agreement on and enforce the ground rules, which are a tremendous help when emotions run high. One proven method is to have the ground rules written on a white board or flip chart in the room. When a ground rule is violated, simply point to the rule and usually the violator will apologize and others will comply. Explaining that three violations by the same person will result in losing one’s seat at the table (at least for this session) helps to prevent multiple violations.
The facilitator should create a safe, transparent environment for people to individually share their concerns. This can be done by modeling a calm, transparent, and patient demeanor by him/herself, especially if emotions begin to take over.